Suddenly I awaken from another night of sleep, I roll my head toward a pair of windows with blinds closed and notice light behind and surrounding them like it is trying to force it’s way through whatever may be interfering with its presence. I’m aware of the rumble and horn of a passing freight train not too many blocks away as it drowns out the more pleasant sounds of nature. The windows are open behind the blinds as a breeze gently moves them a bit and I catch a fragrance of the outside. The thought arises, it must be morning, maybe 5ish. I turn a bit more to see the hands on the small bedside clock as my mind and the hands on the clock confirm 5:23 AM. Other thoughts arise, how much longer shall I lie here, this position needs changing as I turn to the other side, more thoughts, what am I doing this morning, shall I have cereal or eggs, then where are these thoughts coming from, I’m obviously not choosing them. I have no idea what will be the next, they just flow but from where? The next thing I know I am again awakening, the light now is more profuse as the thought, now what time is it, arises and I again turn to the clock whose hands have relocated to the 7:42 position. Thoughts again immediately begin flowing, it’s time to get up, must take my shower, it’s Tuesday, gotta pay the utilities today, must not forget, etc. Again, the realization, I’m not creating or choosing these thoughts anymore than I’m beating my heart, breathing my lungs, digesting my food or fighting off the viruses attacking my body. It’s all just happening. Then the thought, is there actually an individual choosing to have cereal or eggs or does one or the other just happen and a mind thinks it is the doer?

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